Monday, November 18, 2013

The Best Marriage Advice I've Ever Received

People love to give marriage advice, don't they? We've heard it all before. "Don't go to bed angry", "Always be the first one to say sorry". There's several pearls of wisdom floating around that may or may not be helpful. I'm going to share a piece of truly sage advice that I often think of in the midst of a rough day or season in my marriage. I can't say that I've always followed it, but I can say that when I decide to hold my tongue, or repay hurt with grace and kindness, it makes dealing with the situation a whole lot easier. It keeps me from making it worse, and it speaks more to my husband than an hour of angry yelling ever could.

The best marriage advice I've ever received came from my Father-In-Law, before we were ever married. My In-Laws will be celebrating 34 years of marriage in a couple of weeks, and they still like each other quite a bit, so I think he's pretty qualified to offer advice. He told us "I've learned that I can't control the way Mom treats me or talks to me, all I can control is how I respond and how I treat her". Though I've never seen them fight, I know they must have disagreements, so I assume this has worked well for him.

I can think of so man times in my marriage when showing this grace would have been so helpful. I can think of so many hurtful things I have said that could have been avoided by holding my tongue or thinking for a minute to find a way to voice my grievance without shouting, or using hurtful words. This applies to all relationships, but I think it is exceptionally important in marriage.

I would like to challenge everyone who reads this to try it with their spouse the next time they have a disagreement or your spouse does something that hurts you. Show grace when they mess up. It won't be easy, and it is not a fix-all, but I have experienced the blessings it can bring.

Please note, I am NOT advocating that anyone who is being abused in ANY way not seek help or remove themselves from the situation. If you or your children are being abused in ANY way it is not ok, please seek help. It is available.

1 comment:

  1. I admit I have to agree that your father in-law's advice is indeed the best marriage advice I've ever read. It's another term for being patient when such situation goes bad between the couple.